Thoughts on My 26th Birthday

September 4, 2015

birthday

Every year on my birthday I write a blog post that is either reflective, or motivational, or sometimes both. (See: 2012, 2013, & 2014). I definitely think I’ve learned at least 26 new things within the last year, but I thought I would do it a little differently this year. Today I am sharing the present: just a collection of completely crazy grown-up thoughts. That way when I look back on the internet archive of my life when I’m 80, I can be like, “Wow, young-Gab was nuts!”

  • At 26 I can no longer pretend to not be grown up. I still get carded in the liquor store but it’s not because I look like I might not be 19 it’s because I don’t quite look 30, which is when they’re allowed to not card you anymore.
  • Thus, whenever I don’t get carded at the liquor store I am happy at first but then I realize it’s because the clerk thinks I am over 30.
  • While watching Gilmore Girls I think about how when I first started watching the show I was closer to Rory’s age and related to her. Now I am closer to Lorelai’s age and I think Rory needs to stand up for herself way more than she does.
  • I occasionally wander into Forever 21 and realize that I am not forever 21 and I can not pull off a leopard print crop top the way that I used to at 21.
  • Similarly, whenever I listen to “Red” by Taylor Swift I realize that it’s been four whole years since I’ve felt 22.
  • Also, Taylor Swift is like 3 months younger than me which makes me feel like a complete life failure.
  • Ever since I saw Jennifer Lawerence and Amy Schumer in a paparazzi photo on a jet-ski together I haven’t been able to stop wondering why I’m not friends with them. It’s about time the universe brought us together because I think we’d really get along.
  • At 25 I could avoid saying I was in my “late-twenties” because I was halfway through my twenties. But now I can no longer deny that I am “late-twenties”. I can maybe get away with “mid-twenties” for another two years, but when I turn 28 then it’s 100% “late-twenties” at which point I hope I get a time machine for my birthday.
  • The last time I went to the dentist was shortly after my 24th birthday. The dentist said I had no cavities and everything looked good and then I proudly proclaimed, “it’s been 5 years since I’ve been to the dentist and I almost never floss!” The look he gave me told me that statement isn’t something I should be proud of myself for. I’m surprised the dentist didn’t say, “You should really aspire to better goals that ‘how long can I go without seeing a dentist?’”
  • My passport has been expired for the past year and a half. I recently told someone this and they said, “How do you survive?” to which I said, “At home, pretty much.” The fact that I have not yet renewed my passport tells me that despite what I tell myself, I really don’t care for travelling.
  • I once went to a work-related drinking function where I had a semi-heart-to-heart with a colleague about aging. I’ll never forget it, she said, “You know what, Gab, you’re young and having fun and learning and that’s great. But I’m 40 years old and I am fucking wise.” I was dumbfounded but I could not disagree with her. She was fucking wise. Despite the shittiness that occurs as we age (bad hips, wrinkles, grey hairs, etc), the one thing I can absolutely look forward to is being able to say to people in all seriousness, “I am fucking wise.”
  • I also have everything in the world to be grateful for, which is a nice thing to remember every day and not just birthdays.

Sidenote: You may have noticed my website looks totally different than it used to. Quick life update to bring you up to speed: I am freelancing full-time now and so I re-designed my website and launched it… today.

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